The Perfect Creme Brulee

If you are like me than a good Creme Brulee can be almost as satisfying as a good romp in the bedroom. The trick to a perfect Creme Brulee is truly not giving a fuck. I have agonized over measurements, oven temperatures, and timing. Not one of these things helped me make the perfect Creme Brulee until I gave up and just started throwing things together. 

I will share my Perfect Creme Brulee recipe with you complete with lazy girl instructions!

Prep Time: 20 Min. 30 if you count the time it takes to open a bottle of wine

Cook Time: 20-25 min  If all goes well… if not, you can spend this time crying into your bottle of wine while leaning against the oven and praying for a miracle. 

Total Calories: ??? If you are counting calories, this recipe is not for you!


4 Organic egg yolks Dude.. just get the cheap grocery store ones

2 1/2 Cups of  Heavy Cream Better make sure it is grass fed, hormone free, blah, blah, blah

3/4 Cup of white Sugar insert inappropriate racist joke here

1 vanilla bean yeah right… like I have a vanilla bean just hanging out in my kitchen… where the heck do I even get one? 


Pre heat the oven to 350

Wisk the heavy cream, vanilla, and half of the sugar in a double boiler. Heat until the sugar has meltedYou can use a bowl over a pot of boiling water just as easily. Just make sure not to burn your cream. While your cream is cooking, mix the remaining sugar with the egg yolks and sit aside. don’t forget to sip your wine… you are doing great! 

This is the tricky part: SLOWLY ladle the hot/warm cream into the egg yolk mixture and wisk like crazy. otherwise you will cook the eggs and have a sugary, gross, scrambled egg mess. Make sure to incorporate one ladle at a time. When you get about half of the cream mixed in, then start ladling the egg yolk mixture back into the bowl with the heavy cream and continue to incorporate it.  If you have not ruined it by now you are almost home free. Strain the mixture to get out any yolk that has cooked. I am lazy so I skip this step. It seems important though, so you should probably do it. Ladle the mixture into ramekins (who has these just laying around? oh, wait, I do) and set the ramekins into a deep baking pan. Use the water from the double boiler AKA hot water and fill the baking pan until the water level is roughly half way up the side of the ramekins. Try as hard as you can not to spill the water into the ramekins….take another sip of wine. Bake for 20-25 min or until they jiggle in the center when you shake them. Wrap them in plastic wrap and refrigerate them until ready to serve. 

You can sprinkle them with white sugar brown sugar works too if you like them extra sweet. and then hit them with the brulee torch until the sugar melts (caramelizes) and forms a hard crust. If you don’t have a torch (or it always seems to be out of butane) you can turn on the oven at a high temp, move the rack to it’s highest position, and put it as close as you can to the heating element to torch it. If you do it this way, make sure to leave the oven door open so that you are not cooking the custard or it will turn into a hot soupy mess. 

Ta-Da! Perfect Creme Brulee every time. 



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